Gone Shopping
by darkbeetlebot
Summary: Madoka, Homura, and Sayaka decide to take a day off and go to a shopping mall. Or rather, Sayaka gets dragged into it. She proceeds to get annoyed to death by the two obvious lovers' PDA of questionable intent among other things. Is this some elaborate prank, or are they really that obnoxious?


"Alright, so..." Sayaka says to her friend and "friend" as she pulls out a complicated map of the mall they've come to alongside a list of things to buy and places to buy them. "...uh, guys..."

Madoka and Homura linger over her shoulders, staring at the map.

"...This is all clothing. Where the hell are all of the games!?"

Homura smirks, "Who needs games..." she pats Madoka's back "...when I've got all the entertainment I need right here?"

Madoka chuckles, "H-Homura! Come on, we're in public."

Sayaka's about to ask what she just audibly patted, but suddenly finds herself not wanting to know upon a single solitary second of further thought. She hastily wriggles away from their omnipresent grasp and beckons them to follow behind. From a safe distance. "Alright, you two just follow me, I'll make sure you don't get lost."

Homura wraps an arm around Madoka and pseudo-jokes, "Only place I'm getting lost in is this girl's eyes!" which makes Madoka blush and give her trademark giggle. Sayaka groans, just in time for Homura to add, "Besides, I'm far more worried about _you_ getting lost."

"You underestimate my intuition." Sayaka argues.

"The intuition that couldn't sense that your crush liked you back?" Homura quips.

Sayaka shrugs, "Hey, I got Kyouko out of it, so what's it to you?"

Homura chuckles, "Of course."

She almost wants to turn around and smack a bitch, but Sayaka somehow has more control than that. Somehow. Not like anyone would dare try to smack Homura of all people, though. No, that's a death sentence written in blunt force trauma and military chokeholds.

Suddenly, their idle banter and walking brings them to their first destination: Vict-

Sayaka chokes on her non-existent drink that she has yet to get from the food court, "Y-You two seriously want to go to a lingerie store together!?" she nearly yells at them incredulously. "Is this trip some sort of practical joke!?"

"Need to keep up my appearance, you know." Homura tells her as she just waltzes on past. "...besides, yours are rather plain, aren't they? Come on, it's on me."

"Eh-?" Sayaka turns around, only to see Homura smugly waving a fan of bills in her hand. She can't help but feel a little pissed off. "...Where did you get all that, anyways?"

"Inheritance." Homura briefly answers as they all walk into the excessively red and pink outlet together.

"Yeah, right." Sayaka quietly doubts to herself.

Just then, Homura pats Madoka on the back again and tells her, "Go pick out something cute for both of us."

"Anything?" she asks.

"Aaaaanything." Homura assures her as she hands the girl what must be an assload of money to any middle-schooler.

Sayaka comes from behind as the girl runs off, "What are you, her pimp?"

"What, you want some?" Homura guesses, pulling more out of her pocket.

Her instinct is to decline, but then she realizes that she really doesn't have anything fancy. Nothing that hasn't mysteriously disappeared, anyways. "Fuck, okay." she concedes.

"Good girl." Homura says condescendingly as she passes a handful of money to Sayaka. One look at Homura's smug face and she instantly regrets her decision, but can't go back anymore. She takes it and watches her leave, feeling utterly defeated.

About ten minutes of browsing and finally picking something out later, Sayaka goes to try her selection on in the dressing rooms, when she hears something in the adjacent stall.

"See? We match!" a familiar voice says.

"Ah, I see." another replies.

Sayaka ignores them, dismissing it as her imagination. _"There's no way they can be that outrageous."_ she reassures herself in silence while stripping down.

"It's cute, right? Right?" the first voice asks.

"Very." the second agrees. "But you know what's cuter?"

Silence follows, in which Sayaka regrets her choice of changing room.

"You." the second voice finally says, followed by the first giggling. A dead giveaway. It's definitely them.

"_Did they pick that one knowing I'd pick the room closest to the entrance!?"_ Sayaka justifiably worries. For all the two months she's known Homura, the one thing she knows is that she loves to mess with everyone. Getting worse since Walpurgisnacht was defeated.

As the two start tickling each other lightly and giggling like little annoying girls, Sayaka can feel her soul gem start to darken. _"Hold it together. Just a bit longer and I can go to GamePlace!"_

Hastily, she tries on the nice and frilly cyan underwear she took far too long to decide on, and finds that they fit perfectly. An unusual satisfaction comes to her, making her unsure of how to feel.

Then she can hear them babying each other again and it immediately vanishes. She re-changes and walks back out, but as if Homura has ESP, she opens the door at the same time and they nearly walk into each other.

"Oh, hey. Find anything?" Homura asks, as if nothing had happened.

Sayaka is taken off-guard by her lack of a punchline, "Uh... Yeah, are you done?"

Homura looks back at Madoka, who's still in the changing room, then back at Sayaka, "Still got about six more to go."

Sayaka chokes. "Six!?" she barely supresses her voice; no doubt someone misheard that as "Sex", from the amount that suddenly peer into the aisle.

"Just go enjoy yourself, we'll be here for a while." Homura tells her.

As soon as she ducks back into the changing room, Sayaka makes the most disgruntled expression she can manage while grumbling, "...Fuckin' hate shopping with other people. Just hurry up, already..."

Without hesitation, she rings that shit up at the counter and exits the store, sitting at a bench out in front.

And then waits.

...

It would be about 20 minutes before Sayaka realizes she's been waiting for 20 fucking minutes. As she stares ahead at the store, she can see the people leaving with clearly uncomfortable looks, and then spots the culprits heading to the counter with 4 sets of assorted lingerie.

"Are you kidding me?" Sayaka asks. A question probably best left unanswered. For her own sanity, of course.

The two turn and run out the entrance once they're done and immediately dash towards Sayaka. Somehow, Madoka's wide grin makes the wasted time seem at least somewhat worth it. She tends to have that effect.

"Sayaka, Sayaka, we got lots of cute stuff!" Madoka excitedly coos.

"Mhm. I heard." she replies, staring daggers at Homura who just smugly grins back at her.

"Where are we going, next?" she asks.

Sayaka lazily takes the map they have back out and goes down the list, "Uh..." It's still all fucking clothes. Three more places before hitting the food court. She can feel her stomach rumbling from an hour away.

"Sayaka?" Madoka prods at her. Homura sits down on her flank and noses in on the map.

"Hey, I've got it!" Sayaka yells, pushing her back. "Next is...some weird foreign name." She cannot for the life of her guess the pronunciation of the label in front of her.

"Oh, I know exactly where it is." Homura says, quickly rising.

Sayaka stops her, "Hey, wait. Can I just go someplace else? Not really in the mood for more of..._that._"

Madoka comes from behind and puts a hand around her waist, "Come on! It'll be fun, we'll dress you up and everything! Right, Homura?"

Something about the smile Homura gives the both of them reeks of mischeif. "Yeah." she says carefully, approaching the opposite side and putting her hand on Sayaka's back as well. Madoka and Homura both join their hands and use them as a makeshift bulldozer to push Sayaka along with them. All she can do is go along with it.

"_What did I do to deserve this?"_ she asks herself. No deity answers, for none could possibly exist in a world this cruel.


End file.
